I'm back!

Actually, I've been back for a while, it's just that I haven't been energetic enough to drag my too relaxed body to the computer.  Holidays were good......in fact they were great.  I love being away from home.  Even if it is just for a weekend, I always come back feeling mentally refreshed and ready to take on life again.  Except that this time I have had to sleep in a few days in a row first!

No more sleeping in as from tomorrow though!  Jojo is starting surf school, and has to be at Scarborough Beach at 7.15am.  This beach is a decent distance north of the city...and we are southsiders.  Crikey x 5.  It's my own fault really though.  Guess what we gave Jojo on Christmas Day whilst we were staying at Palm Beach on the Gold Coast?

Doesn't she look gorgeous?  What twelve year old wouldn't want to take their first surfing trial at the Gold Coast on a pink (with redback spider) surfboard on Christmas day I ask you?  Getting it home across the country was something we decided not to think about when buying it.  Jojo loved it.  Thought we were insane, but cool.  She has been wanting to learn how to surf for a while, so we bought her the board and threw in a week of lessons to be taken once we were back home.  I will be the one to take her there and supervise, but am hoping that they have lots of lifesavers there coz Scarborough = waves and I don't 'do' waves.  Will let you know how it goes.


And in a life time first.  This is (if you knew me) truly astounding.  Today is the 17th of January and I have only just completed reading my first book of the year.  I have about four others on the go it is true, but to only complete one by today's date is very very slow by my standards.  It was 'The Mephisto Club' by Tess Gerritsen, and a very satisfying little murder-mystery it was too.  I'm very proud of myself for not flicking to the end at any point to find out what would happen (as I am ashamed to admit I sometimes do).  There were a couple of nice little twists at the end, that I did not see coming, so all in all I am impressed.  I have read other Tess Gerritsen books, but this one is my favourite so far.  I'm going to start a 2010 reading list as a side bar to keep track of this year's perusals.

I have lots of things from our holiday to show you, so shall sign off with another photo.

Feet up, cricket on, waves rolling

If this sounds somewhat idyllic, it's because it is!  We are currently holidaying on the Gold Coast in Queensland, about 50m from the beach.  We arrived on the 21st of December, and don't leave until the 4th of January.  It has been just wonderful.  We are staying with Bretsky's dad and brother in a unit, swimming nearly everyday, putting our feet up on the balcony to sip a G&T, read, play mahjong on the DS, so on and so forth.  I know it's hard, I'll fly the flag for you.

We have been taking lots of cool photos on our new tiny canon camera, but the seaspray in the air is starting to play havoc with various electrical gear, so I might wait until we get home to upload them.

To all three of my readers, Merry Christmas, Love you.

A hard day

So.
Sunday was a hard day.
Every year for the last four Christmases we have attended a service at Kings Park for the families of children who have died from cancer, children who went through ward 3B at Princess Margaret Hospital.  The service is organised by staff from 3B and a few berieved parents, Bretsky being one of them.  The service starts with this song by Karen Taylor-Good, 'Precious Child'.

In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'cause you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever.....in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, precious child
Tho' it may be tru that we're apart
You will live forever in my heart.

So.
I start crying when that song starts, and barely stop for at least the next hour.  Prayers are said.  People get up and read things they have written for their children, more songs are played.  Siblings get to release white doves, and we all watch them spiral upwards, get their bearings and fly away free.  We all release helium balloons, ours are brightly coloured, because Eliza was so brightly coloured.  Bretsky, Jojo and I all write messages to Eliza on ours.....Mummy loves you Mummy loves you Mummy loves you Mummy loves you.  By the time we release them, all three of us are sobbing.

Believe it or not, although it is hard and incredibly tiring, it is a very good and probably therapeutic thing to do.  Christmas can't go past without us dedicating time to Eliza, and this way we can do it with the only people who can truly understand what it is like to see your child die from the effects of cancer.  Everyone cries, no-one apologises, lots of hugs.  I like to imagine that Eliza gets my balloons.

We went to one of our favourite cafes afterwards for a late breakfast, and then we went home.  All three of us collapsed into bed, so utterly wiped out were we with the emotional stress of the morning.  It's somewhat tiring even writing this, so now I will drink coffee with Bretsky, and go to bed again.  Grief =marathon.

Sunday

It was a quiet but yummy day at château Festival.  The day started with Jojo and I going to Church.  We are currently going to a Baptist Church...a new experience for me and probably slightly more conservative than I would like, but Jojo is really enjoying it a lot, so I think it is worth pursuing, if only just for her.

When I came home the stresses and late nights of the last week caught up with me and I crashed and went to bed.  Even Bretsky could see that I was rocking on my feet.  Thankfully he was happy to do a few things with Jojo, one of which was to organise dinner, and cater to my whim of a nice chunk of lamb.  More on that later.

Whilst I was asleep I had a strange dream.  I don't know if this was a throwback to Audrey's book, but I dreamt that I could see the ghost of a small girl running around.  I woke up not knowing whether it was Eliza or some random other small child, so I was slightly freaked.  Nothing bad happened in the dream, it's just that I prefer to think of Eliza safely ensconced in heaven, so I think it is one of those dreams I will consciously decide not to think about.

Dinner tonight was stunning.  Bretsky often cooks on the weekend as he doesn't really have time during the week, he enjoys it, and it gives me a break.  Tonight's menu came from this...

Firstly we had Cordero con garbanzos y salsa de hierbabuena (don't ask me to actually say that).  It translates to a boned, butterflied leg of lamb marinated in garlic, lemon, red wine vinegar, fresh thyme, red onion, sweet paprika and olive oil, and cooked on the barbecue.  Add to it a chickpea purée that contains olive oil, onion, garlic, cumin seeds and saffron, and a hot home made mint sauce (my contribution).  But wait, there's more.  Bretsky also made his own GF flatbreads and cooked them on the barbecue too.  Add corn on the cob at the request of Jojo, and voilà!

Mmmmmmmmmmm.  It was soooo good.....just what I had felt like.

8 rowdy girls...

gathered in my lounge room this afternoon for their book group.  The book this time was...

The 'Big Elephant Book Club' consists of nine gorgeous 11 & 12 year old girls (one was missing today), who meet at my home every six weeks or so, to discuss the latest book they have chosen, have afternoon tea and generally muck around.  As a rule I try to encourage the girls to decide themselves which book they will read next, but the reality is that they usually have so many suggestions between them that they can't settle to a decision.  This time I stepped in and promoted 'The night they stormed Eureka', partly because I really admire Jackie French and the way she weaves history into fiction/fiction into history, and partly because we have a personal connection to the goings on that happened at the Eureka stockade.

Firstly the book.  One girl didn't like it to the point that she refused to finish the book.  One girl loved it all except for the time travelling part, and the rest were of mixed opinion.  Generally most of them weren't thrilled with the time travel concept.  I don't think it was a problem with the writing as such, more maybe that the girls would have preferred that there was continuity of time.  They did enjoy reading about an episode of Australian history in a way that was understandable to them and without a lot of political jargon.  We ended up having good discussions not just about the rise of the union movement, but also about what life might have been like on the gold fields in the 1800's, and would they have like to go back in time to visit it? Turns out they wouldn't...that whole distrust of the time travel thing....I myself would like to have visited Australia when it was still part of Gondwanaland.

As to our connection with the Eureka Stockade.  My husband, Bretsky, is descended from good convict stock, (which if you are Australian is virtually aristocracy)!  Only in Oz!  His great great great great grandmother was Anastasia Withers, one the the three women who sewed the original Eureka Stockade flag. Truly!!  He is currently winning the 16 year long game of who knows/has met/is related to, the most famous people.  Anyhow, this flag is still seen on union sites all around Australia, and we think it's pretty cool to have rebellious blood in the family.

As you can see, parts of the original flag are missing.  This is because the Museum in Victoria looking after the flag used to snip bits off to sell!  Then they realised that there was a problem with sustainability and ceased the practice.  And wasn't Anastasia a fine figure of a woman?

The book club meeting ended with a rigorous discussion of what the girls wanted to do for a Christmas party, and I was presented with a little gift from one of the girls.  A little string of elephants to hang from our verandah as a welcoming sign to big elephant book club participants when they arrive.  I shall leave you with this cheery image.......

I love etsy, but I love this more

Being a 'crafter' myself, I have a great appreciation for the very many clever, artistic and downright fabulous things you can find on etsy.  There is however stuff you come across where you think "what the?"  This is where regretsy comes into it's own.  Real etsy items are shifted onto this site so that we can all benefit from seeing the many unique offerings these (ahem) talented artists have created.  The pictures are fantastic, and the new added commentary by Helen Killer cracks me up.  Take this for example... (you can click on the image to enlarge it)

There's not really anything much I can add to that.

Audrey is crossed off the Christmas list

So, I finished reading Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneger and did not like it one iota.  I was going to write a book review explaining the reasons for my distaste, and then discovered that Badger wrote this, which I agree with completely.  So.  That about does it for that.  For the record, I did like The Time Traveler's Wife, and thought that the concept of HFS was good, so had been looking forward to it.  Don't know that I will bother with any of her future work.

Moving on to last night's dream.  I dream a lot, in colour, often with sounds and smells and sometimes physical experiences.  This is great when the dream has a fun, loving theme.  It's not so good when the anxiety dreams hit, and I seem to be having quite a run of them.

In last night's I was in some sort of factory, a dingy dark one, that was also part university.  A very good older friend of mine, B, was there too, and periodically so was Jojo.  I was working near an office in which some sort of experiment was being done, when all of a sudden someone alerted us to the fact that there was a gas leak that might explode and we needed to vacate the building ASAP.  At this point I had Jojo with me, and my main concern was keeping her safe.  As we were hustling out off the building and into the car park I heard an explosion, and small shards of glass started raining down on us.  I pulled Jojo to me and tried to protect her face, head and body as much as possible with my own body.  She was ok, but I could feel dozens of stinging cuts as the glass hit me.  Nothing too severe or fatal, but certainly it felt unpleasant, and the whole episode had a threatening vibe.

After a while (at this point Jojo had disappeared) we decided it was safe to go into the factory/university to investigate.  I didn't have any shoes, and shattered glass was everywhere, so I stole two left shoes to walk around in. I know.  Anyway, snooping around B's office I came across scraps of paper that seemed to suggest that he was having an affair.  I was completely shocked, and felt quite betrayed on behalf of his wife. In real life, B and his wife, (now dec) were completely devoted to each other.

The whole dream was about trying to protect my (inner?) child, and with coming to terms with the fact that sometimes things are not what they seem.  It's no wonder that I sometimes wake up exhausted!  Still, this dream was not as bad as the one a few nights ago when I dreamt that Tony Abbott was my father...gack!

Moving back to books, a much safer and my all round favourite topic.  I have been given this to read, but was warned I would probably need to keep my trusty dictionary next to me during the process.

It's the first Banville I have attempted, and when I return the book I am supposed to tell the wonderful K who lent it to me what my favourite new word is.  So, I have added a new list to the side of my page in order that you may expand your vocabulary right along with me.  Capeesh? (Part of speech: interjection. Definition: do you understand? From the Italian)...dictionary.reference.com.  ha ha ha