Watching Jane Austen

I'm sitting in the lounge room in MY chair with my feet up on the big red exercise ball that never gets used for exercise and only ever for relaxation.  Jane Austen Regrets is on the telly and I am so wishing that I could have lived in her time....only if I was rich though.  Poverty would not have been fun in the 1800s.

Jojo and I have been busy with various little activities lately, much like genteel ladies.  Chief among our accomplishments were the respective appliquéing of a block each for a memory/friendship quilt that my friend V is making for her daughter M's twelfth birthday.  Jojo decided to applique the girl guides symbol as she attends guides with M.

Mine is an elephant with 'Big Elephant Book Club' lettered underneath.  I run a book group for nine, 11 and 12 year old girls, and M is part of this group.  A very delightful group of girls, who meet at my house every six weeks or so to discuss the latest book they have read, have afternoon tea, and generally muck around like slightly geeky girls do.

Not too shabby an effort huh?

Bretsky is packing so that he can fly out to Brisbane early tomorrow morning for Granddad's funeral on Tuesday.  He will get to spend some time with his dad and brother, and many of Granddad's thousands of relatives.  We received a request from one of Bretsky's cousins to try and find any family photo's we had that included Granddad, so that they could be used at the funeral.  I took a break writing this to help Bretsky trawl through the packets of hard copy photos we have (the ones that predate the acquisition of a digital camera and files on the computer).

I found myself taking a deep breath before opening each packet.  Would I see photo of Eliza or not? The first few packets I opened didn't have any.  There were plenty of pictures of Jojo, such complete enjoyment to look at how she has grown, what a little pudding elf she used to be.  Then I started to get impatient to see some of Eliza.  The next packet I opened there she was.....such a sweet little face....giggling with her head thrown back, Jojo in the background enjoying her little sister.  Then I started to cry.  I would never, ever choose a life that didn't include Eliza, but the constant longing, and ache in my stomach for the sheer wanting of her brings me undone time and time again.  I stare at those pictures and I can still hear her voice in my head, feel her arms around my neck.  Gorgeous gorgeous girl.

Take a deep breath, finish my coffee, go and put away the dishes.